The names in this letter have been redacted and changed to "Tom," "Dick," and "Harry."

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To all the faithful Christians at the El Dorado Springs church of Christ,

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     This is Seth Michael. Regarding the topic of the Bible’s teaching on marriage and how it has been handled by the eldership, I have been extremely discouraged, and I’m sure many of you feel the same way.

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     Even if you disagree with the things I have said, I believe you deserve to know the truth. I especially believe you fathers and mothers of this congregation deserve to know the truth, and what principles will be endorsed and taught to your children from the current eldership.

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     The elders came to my house after the Wednesday night service (12/06/2017) and asked me to leave the congregation earlier than planned. They said, “tensions are high,” and for the “healing process” to begin, I and my family should leave. They have gone back on their word, and robbed me and my family of time here, and the chance to say goodbye to everyone. I am writing this letter as a last recourse, and because I believe the elders have swerved from the truth.

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     On July 2nd, and July 9th, I preached on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage. What I taught was not in agreement with the elders' comprehension of Jesus' teaching. As a result, in the past 4 months I have met with them several times to discuss the Bible’s teaching on this topic.

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     If the elders ever publicly address this issue, I am under the impression what I have said to them will either be overstated or misremembered. I would like to remind you all my sermons are recorded. You can get a CD copy from the church secretary, or if you have internet access, then you can listen to them online. The Biblical principles I have taught in public, are the same principles I have stated and taught in private.

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     It is the shepherd’s Scriptural obligation to be able to teach (1Timothy 3:2), to be a lover of what is good (Titus 1:8), to hold fast to the faithful word, to exhort and convict those who contradict by using sound doctrine (Titus 1:9), and to shepherd the flock of God (1 Peter 5:2).

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     I have lost all confidence in *Tom, *Dick, and *Harry, and their ability to shepherd this flock. I have the most respect for *Harry, who has told me, he doesn’t feel he can reach a conclusion on this matter. The elders have told me they will continue to study, and *Tom told me it may take him at least a year to understand this. However, in our final meeting (11/20/2017), I asked the elders, “Do you think you will ever change your mind?” *Dick told me “No,” and *Tom also told me “No.” They may still be studying, but *Dick and *Tom have reached certain conclusions. The following are three principles which *Dick and *Tom have consistently shared with me:

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     1.) The elders affirm: people are not accountable to God in any way until they are baptized. They say this is true regarding marriage as well. I asked *Dick and *Tom what they do with 2 Thessalonians 1:8, where speaking about Christ’s return it says:

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“in flaming fire taking vengeance on those who do not know God, and on those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:8 NKJV, emph. added).

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I also asked them how it can be the case that "no one is accountable to God prior to baptism" when the Bible says:

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“…He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead” (Acts 17:31 NKJV, emph. added).

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They did not provide me an answer.

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     They have consistently told me unbelievers are not accountable to God, and that God does not recognize the marriage of two unbelievers. I asked them, “If God does not recognize the marriage of unbelievers, does that mean they are living in fornication?” *Tom told me, “No. They are married in the world’s eyes.” I asked, “What does that mean? Who cares about what the ‘world’ has to say about marriage?” Again, there was no answer given.

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Regarding the elder’s statement that two unbelievers are never legitimately married, I asked for their explanation of the following passages:

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• Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Hebrews 13:4 NKJV, emph. added)
   

• But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32 NKJV emph. added)
   

• And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery. (Matthew 19:9 NKJV emph. added)
   

• So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” (Mark 10:11-12 NKJV, emph. added)

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*Dick told me that “all” in Hebrews 13:4 only refers to believers, and that marriage is honorable among Christians. Regarding all Jesus’ “whoever” statements about marriage, *Dick told me that “whoever” only refers to believers. *Tom and *Dick have told me numerous times, two unbelievers are never legitimately married, thus denying the above-stated verses.

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     I also asked them for their explanation of passages which refer to two unbelievers who were married:

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• Cain had a wife (Genesis 4:17).
   

• Uriah and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:3). Neither of them was an Israelite, and yet the Bible says they were married.
   

• Ahab and Jezebel (1 Kings 16:30-31; 21:25).
   

• Potiphar and his wife (Genesis 39:1, 7). They were Egyptians, not in a covenant relationship with God, and yet the Bible says they were married.
   

• Philip and Herodias (Mark 6:17-19, she left Philip for his brother).
   

• Pilate had a wife (Matthew 27:17-19).
   

• The Corinthians (1 Corinthians 6:9ff). Some of the Corinthians were guilty of adultery before they were Christians and were therefore married.
   

     They did not give an answer regarding these people in Scripture, and they kept reaffirming no one is ever really married before they are baptized.

 

     I asked the elders if two people are not “legitimately married” prior to baptism, must we then perform a marriage ceremony for all people who are baptized? They restated that they are married in the world’s eyes before baptism, and then married in God’s eyes after baptism.

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     2.) The elders affirm: baptism transforms an adulterous relationship into a God-honoring marriage. They have stated when a person is baptized, at that point they are accountable to God, and must remain in their current marriage situation.

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     I asked them if this applied to homosexual marriages. *Dick said no, it does not, and that homosexuality is an abomination. The elders have ascribed a purpose to baptism which is not found in the New Testament. They are claiming baptism transforms a sinful practice into a righteous practice. However, this is not the purpose of baptism, and they—seemingly—only believe this regarding adultery. They don’t consistently apply this false teaching when it concerns fornication, homosexuality, or other sinful practices.

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     3.) The elders affirm the following: many times, *Dick and *Tom referred to 1 Corinthians 7:28 which says:

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“But even if you do marry, you have not sinned…”

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They affirmed this passage teaches a man could divorce his wife, then marry another woman, and it would not be a sin. I asked them, “to whom was Paul speaking regarding this statement?” Paul expressly says he is speaking to virgins. This passage has nothing to do with a man or woman who is already married, and who desires to leave their spouse for another person.

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Consider this verse in its context from the current NIV translation:

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1 Corinthians 7:25-28: “(25) Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. (26) Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. (27) Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. (28) But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.”

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We read this passage together, and I told them “I don’t know how Paul could have said it any clearer, he is speaking to virgins.” They adamantly denied this passage has anything to do with virgins.

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     Several times Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 not to divorce. Yet, *Dick and *Tom insist the Apostle Paul teaches a man can divorce his wife, marry a different woman, and it is not a sin to do so. I asked the elders, “Does Paul contradict himself and Jesus Christ?” *Dick’s response was, “Maybe he does.” I waited for an answer from *Tom and *Harry, but they said nothing. I took this as their tacit approval, that they agreed with *Dick's statement that the Bible may indeed contradict itself.

 

     I am not leaving this congregation because of a difference in personal opinions. I am leaving because of a vast difference in doctrine.

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     The current eldership is unwilling to believe the clear New Testament teachings on this topic. They have denied Jesus’ words, and constantly taken things out of context.

 

     I put my trust in Jesus’ words, even when they are not popular and contrary to our culture. He said: 

 

“…Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her” (Mark 10:11 NKJV).

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     My intuition tells me the elders may say something along the lines: “Seth wants to break up families. He wants us to split up homes.” I would say if you are married, then God expects you to stay married. And, if you are committing adultery, then God expects you to end the practice of adultery (1 Corinthians 5). The elders have failed to see the distinction between marriage and adultery. When I have affirmed people cannot live in adultery and be pleasing to God, they hear “Seth is telling us to break up marriages.”

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     I told them I would like us to be united on the truth, preach the truth, and if/when people respond in repentance or come to the elders for counsel, to then talk to people with an open Bible.

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     The truth is, the principles the elders have shared with me will do great damage to families which get involved in this church. *Tom told me “pornography” and “abuse” are legitimate reasons for divorce. And, *Dick and *Tom both stated that a man can leave his wife, marry another, and it is not wrong. How many families and homes will be split and divided in future generations, if these are principles which will be taught and endorsed at the El Dorado Springs church of Christ?

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     I am no longer a member of this congregation for these reasons. However, as the man who has been preaching here for two years, and has come to know and care for many of you, I urge you to recognize you are in the midst of a defining moment for this church. I beseech *Dick, *Tom, and *Harry to seriously reconsider the position they have taken on this topic. They are good men, but they are in grave error regarding this issue. I encourage this church to be united on Jesus’ clear and concise teachings on this topic.

 

“But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will” (2 Timothy 2:23-26 NKJV).

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I love you all. I do not want to see this congregation split, and I want you to have peace and unity in Jesus Christ.

 

 

In Him,

Seth Michael

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Call

(417) 876-4256

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Email

churchofchrist@centurytel.net